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The Man Who Would Not Die

The Honourable Baron Justinian Clarus

Songs by Sigurd 4.1 Pennsic War Again

We went down south last August in a bucket made of rust.
Put sixteen tons of gear inside a car we couldn't trust,
Our garb and our pavilion, suits of armour, sharpened steel.
We wondered if we'd ever make the field.
We headed for the Queensway. So much was on our mind.
What would the customs guard say? What did we leave behind?
When we groaned up to the Peace Bridge, it caused us to proclaim
That we'd never go to Pennsic, not again.

Not again, not again
Till the food falls from the sky and beer comes down like rain.
Though those who love it most may bug us till the end
No, we'll never go to Pennsic, not again.

There were fifteen hundred cars and trucks in every border line.
They were pulling apart the mayor's car; what would they do to mine?
My God, we're all in garb. Oh, no! My passport's still at home.
They'll think we're Viking raiders out to roam.
Acting normal's difficult in tunics, wraps and skins.
We look like some Satanic cult; they'd never let us in.
We'd spent hours in the lineup and we couldn't turn away,
But we'd never go to Pennsic, not again...

With just two cars before us we were nearly at the gate
When a sickening fear came over us, too painful to relate.
The guard he saw us coming through the corner of his eye
And quickly waved the other drivers by.
But he waved us in, all agrin, smiling ear to ear.
"Why are you leaving Canada? What are you doing here?"
"We're camping in New Castle," I said, like I'd been trained,
But I'll never go to Pennsic, not again...

He called us out so he could see the papers that we had,
Asked a hundred million questions till I thought I would go mad,
But when he saw my pain he said, "My noble, gentle lord,
Greetings from the Khan of the Dark Horde.
My friend, Customs' adversity has dealt its final blow.
Venture freely into camp. I'll seek you when I go.
Set up and then seek out my tent and leave behind your strain,
And we'll make you enjoy Pennsic once again."

Once again, once again
Where the food tasted so good, and his beer fell down like rain.
After going once, I must go to war again.
And we'll all go to Pennsic once again.