The Honourable Baron Justinian Clarus

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The Man Who Would Not Die

The Honourable Baron Justinian Clarus

Other Songs 6.4 My Old Man

My old man's a fighter. What do you think about that?
He wears a fighter's tabard; he wears a fighter's hat;
He wears a fighting tunic, and he wears fighter's shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he reads the daily news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a fighter, just like my old man.

My old man's a Baron. What do you thing about that?
He wears a Baron's tabard; he wears a nice gold hat;
He wears a Baron's tunic, and he wears leather shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, someone reads him the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a Baron, just like my old man.

My old man's the King. What do you think about that?
He wears a kingdom tabard; he wears a pointy hat;
He wears embroidered tunics, and he wears pointy shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he makes the front page news,
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be the King, just like my old man.

My old man's a herald. What do you think about that?
He wears a herald's tabard; he wears a wide-brimmed hat;
He wears a herald's tunic, and he wears sensible shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he cries the daily news,
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a herald, and shout at my old man.

My old man's a merchant. What do you think about that?
He'll sell you any tabard; he'll sell you any hat;
He'll sell you any tunic; he'll sell you any shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, His children shout,
"PENNSIC DAILY TIDINGS, ONLY FIFTY CENTS!"
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a merchant, and sell you my old man.

My old man's a Pelican. What do you think about that?
He'll help you make a tabard; he'll help you buy a hat;
He'll help you sew a tunic; he'll help you pick out shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he helps put out the news.
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a Pelican, and help out my old man.

My old man's a Tuchuk. What do you think about that?
He doesn't own a tabard; he has a fake fur hat;
He doesn't wear a tunic; he hasn't any shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he eats the daily news.
And some day, if I can,
I don't want to be a Tuchuk, not like my old man.

My old man's a Laurel. What do you think about that?
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented tabard, and a completely authenticated, fully documented hat,
And a completely authenticated, fully documented tunic, and completely authenticated, fully documented shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he refuses to read the Pennsic Daily Tidings because his persona would not have been able to understand English,
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a Laurel and criticize my old man.

My old man's a stick jock. What do you think about that?
He wears faded blue jeans; he wears a baseball hat;
He wears a dirty T-shirt, and white Nike shoes,
And every day at Pennsic he fights,
And some day, if I can,
I'm going to be a stick jock, and beat up my old man.